Losing Someone is Never Easy

Today I sent a message to a batchmate whose mother had just passed away. While I was typing and putting my thoughts into my email, my eyes welled up and soon tears were falling. My son was asking me why I was crying but I said it’s nothing, it’s just the fumes from my cooking. In truth, I was crying because my heart was feeling that hurt again when I lost my own father.

There is nothing comparable to the anguish that all of us feels or will feel when a loved one dies. Whether it’s our spouse, our children, our parents, our siblings, or our grandparents, the ache is just unexplainable. The pain is a whole lot different and way too deep. It’s something that will always stay. It’s like there is this big gaping hole in your heart that nothing can fill up. It’s like you lost a part of you that you will never get back. Sometimes you’d wake up in the middle of the night and you suddenly remember that they’re gone then the pain creeps in again, and you’d start crying. But you know so well that no matter how hard you cry, you know that they will no longer be there. You know you won’t be able to see them, or hear their voices ever again. And that makes it all the more painful. If only we can keep them with us forever. If only they have stayed for just one more day, or a month or maybe for just one more year.

If only…

When a loved one passes away, there is nothing else to do but grieve, pray and keep living. And be consoled that our loved ones are now with the Lord. It’s hard, truly all of us who’ve lost one knows that, but for those who have not been through this phase yet, you will know that no matter how hard it is to accept it, eventually  you will learn to accept this and God will give you the courage and strength to go on with your life again.

P.S.

Personally, what I learned most about losing my father early is that people may not have all the time in the world to change into the people that we want them to be, so we have to accept people as they are, with their faults and flaws. As my Aunt told me, ” we have to love people unconditionally”. Whether they are nice to us or not, whether they are the kind of persons, or parents, that we wished they were because we never know when they will suddenly leave us.